What to do in order to understand yourself and how you are perceived.

To understand how others view you, you need to gain an accurate understanding of yourself.

• Spend some quiet time alone each day examining who you are and who you are not.
• Encourage informal feedback from trusted peers and managers. You may be surprised at how they perceive you. Be aware that they will give subjective views based on personal opinions, so attempt to remain objective and explore what about you may have influenced these views.
• More formal tools, such as psychometrics and personality profiles can be helpful. Feedback from these can be easier to manage because it is objective and involves no third-party relationship.
• 360-degree surveys, which gather the views of audiences, both inside and outside the business, can be helpful but focus on skills as well as behavior. Be aware of the differences between the two. While both may be learned and modified, changing the way you behave usually involves altering personality traits and perceptions and is more difficult than acquiring new technical skills.
• When reviewing test results, try not to concentrate only on personal information that feels hurtful. Look for patterns in the feedback. Consider the when's and why's. Stress often allows unintentional behavior to surface. It is possible, too, that you have been completely unaware of the behavior that has created the impression you want to change.

Remember that building self-awareness requires courage and commitment, so do not allow yourself to become discouraged by what you learn.

_{Determine your Strategy}

Before you embark on a perception management strategy, determine your goals, how you intend to accomplish them, and how you will monitor your progress. Focus initially on changing one thing that will create a quick win.

Consider the context in which you are working and use the feedback you have received to select your goals. You may have a strong desire to change your behavior and others may have encouraged you to do so—but remember—people are accustomed to the old you and may not react to the new you as you expect. It will help if you concentrate on four tracks:

• Communicate your intentions to people who may be affected. Look for an opportunity, such as an annual formal performance appraisal, to make your intentions known; you will likely win more support and understanding if things should not work out exactly as you plan. You are also likely to receive more praise when they do.
• Gain support from your manager or key members of your team to help keep you focused. A good support group is essential when you seek to change something about yourself-witness the success of groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Weight Watchers.
• Find a coach to provide ongoing direction and support. A coach can make impartial observations and encourage you to continue, or change, your strategy as you move forward. Working with a coach takes time and commitment, so allow for this in your plan.
• Evaluate your progress at each milestone in your plan, either formally or informally. You may wish to keep a daily journal of the details that tend to slip away if they do not get written down. Frequent informal feedback from friends and colleagues is important. You might tell them in advance that you intend to approach them for feedback, so that they can consciously pay attention to your behavior; then give them enough time to observe you before asking for that feedback. A more formal option is to revisit the 360-degree questionnaire and see whether others have noticed a change.

The changes you succeed in bringing about may not be immediately recognized by others. It may take months, but do not lose heart-consistency and perseverance are key.

_{A Quick Guide to Perception Management}

Do:

• Increase your own awareness
• Be aware of the effect you have on others
• Learn to interpret other people's verbal and nonverbal signals
• Know the effect that stress has on you and how this looks to others
• Be visible at strategic moments
• Encourage feedback from people you value, without making unreasonable demands
• Allow others to make their own choices
• Give yourself adequate time and make perception management part of your personal development
• Be consistent, patient, and forgiving

Do Not:

• React emotionally to the feedback you receive
• Act defensive
• Become unmotivated
• Be ingratiating
• Behave aggressively and try too hard too quickly
• Expect too much
• Embroil others in your views of yourself
• Pester people for feedback
• Be political or manipulative in your behavior

In a nutshell, perception management is the ability to create an impression through conscious activities and awareness of other people and the impact your behavior has on them. To be successful, define your target audience, superimpose their values on yours, adjust your communication style, encourage feedback, and be aware of how you adapt at every step of the way.